Coaching
Befriending the Parts of Ourselves
Have you ever found yourself reacting to something in a way that surprises you? Perhaps you become unusually defensive, feel overwhelmed by something that shouldn’t be such a big deal, or hear a familiar critical voice telling you that you’ve failed. Again.
Maybe you recognize the pattern. Maybe you’ve even spent years trying to change it.
And yet, there it is.
One of the things I’ve come to appreciate about being human is that we are rarely as straightforward as we’d like to believe. We can want two contradictory things at once. We can understand something intellectually and still find ourselves reacting emotionally. We can be compassionate toward others while being relentlessly critical of ourselves.
Internal Family Systems (IFS), also known as Parts Work, offers a different way to understand these experiences.
What Is Internal Family Systems?
IFS is based on the understanding that we each have an internal system made up of different Parts, each with its own perspectives, feelings, beliefs, and ways of trying to help us navigate life.
You might have a Part that strives for perfection, another that worries about disappointing people, one that avoids conflict at all costs, and another that would occasionally like to tell everyone to take a flying leap.
Some Parts are easy to appreciate. Others can create considerable difficulty in our lives.
But here’s what I find so remarkable about IFS: Rather than viewing these Parts as problems to eliminate, we approach them with curiosity.
What are they afraid might happen? What are they trying to protect? What experiences shaped the roles they’ve taken on?
As we develop a relationship with our Parts, we may begin to understand familiar reactions and longstanding patterns in ways that weren’t previously available to us.
The goal isn’t to become someone who never struggles. It’s to develop a different relationship with ourselves.
What It's Like to Work With Me
My approach is collaborative, compassionate, and grounded in respect for your internal system.
We begin with whatever is present for you. Sometimes that’s a specific issue or recurring pattern. Sometimes it’s a feeling you don’t understand, an inner conflict, or a critical voice that seems determined to make your life miserable.
Rather than immediately trying to change what you’re experiencing, we’ll explore it together.
I may invite you to notice what happens in your body, identify the Parts involved, or become curious about the feelings and beliefs underneath a reaction. We’ll move at a pace that respects your comfort, boundaries, and willingness to explore.
There is no expectation that you arrive knowing exactly what you need, and no pressure to force an insight or breakthrough.
I also don’t believe every difficult emotion or behavior needs to become an elaborate psychological excavation. Sometimes a little curiosity reveals quite a lot.
Some of the Things We Can Explore
The Inner Critic
Understanding perfectionism, shame, self-judgment, and the Parts that believe criticism will keep us safe or successful.
Recurring Patterns
Exploring familiar behaviors and emotional reactions that persist despite our best intentions.
Relationships and Boundaries
Becoming more aware of the Parts activated by conflict, expectations, attachment, and the needs of others.
Change and Uncertainty
Understanding the internal conflicts that can accompany major decisions, transitions, and unfamiliar circumstances.
Self-Understanding
Building a more compassionate relationship with the Parts of ourselves we've learned to dislike, fear, or ignore.
About My Experience
I’m a Certified Internal Family Systems Practitioner, Certified Coach, and Certified Grief Recovery Specialist.
My relationship with IFS began long before I became a practitioner. I came to the work through my own efforts to understand patterns and behaviors that had shaped my life, and I discovered an approach that fundamentally changed how I related to myself.
That personal experience continues to inform my work, but I don’t assume that my journey is yours. Each person’s internal system is different, and I consider it a privilege to be invited to explore it with them.
Let's Start a Conversation
Finding someone to work with is a personal decision, and I believe it’s important that we both feel comfortable with the relationship.
I offer a free introductory conversation where we can talk about what brings you to coaching, answer questions about IFS and my approach, and explore whether working together makes sense.
There’s no pressure or obligation to continue.